>>>---ZOMG spoilers follow---<<<
“Teeth” is a – horror? comedy? superhero? - movie following the horny teen life of Dawn O'Keefe (darling choice of last name, though the flower imagery from the movie's advertising was conspicuously absent from the movie as a whole, probably for the best) as she discovers her anatomical uniqueness and transforms from Christian Chastity Princess to rapist-castrating superheroine. Dawn's vagina dentata is framed in the movie as an adaptive mutation, possibly having something to do with the nuclear power plant in the shadow of which Dawn's house lies. There was some kind of symbolism going on with that plant – throughout most of the movie the stacks are chugging out blatantly inaccurate black smoke; the only time we see the pure white steam that's supposed to be coming out of those things is when Dawn first uses her, um, powers(?) on purpose, to avenge her mother's death. It switches back to black smoke the next time we see it, and I'm sure there's a layer of symbolism going on there that I'm not quite catching.
The movie was, of course, not perfect. For a movie with a female main character and at least a shadow of feminist underpinnings I was a bit surprised that it only barely passed the Bechdel Test, on virtue of an early scene, a scant few lines, where Dawn talks to her mother about how school went - though I suppose it's better to have a nicely feminist movie that fails Bechdel than a misogynist piece of crap where, as an aside, two women hang out in the kitchen and talk about cooking or somesuch. I would have liked for the movie to have more than just one male character (her stepfather) who wasn't either a rapist or just a general skeezeball – but as I write this I realize that having a stepparent character who's not EVIL is pretty much a Great Leap Forward for the art of film. I would also have liked her mother to have more of a role in the movie than the early “Hey that lady's sick!” and late “Hey that lady's dead!” scenes. I guess I just can't have it all, and some characters are going to be disposable. Despite all this, I loved “Teeth.”
But the best part of the movie wasn't the movie itself. It was the audience reactions. When you see this film, I strongly recommend seeing it with a large and diverse group; in particular, if you can get a frat boy who doesn't know going in what the movie's about, it's WAY worth the effort, and fairly edutaining from a feminist perspective. Highlights are that this movie is like so totally anti-guy – actually it's anti-rape and anti-skeeze and could only be rightly interpreted as anti-guy if you think nonconsensual pussy is an intrinsic part of the “guy” experience, which seems to be an unfortunately common perception in the culture at large, which is why for a period during high school I took pains to use words other than 'guy' to describe myself or any decent human being (see also ”Man-haters” at Pandagon) – and that this is SO not a mutation that's good for the continuation of the human species – to the contrary, she uses her weapon (hey look I used the word 'weapon' to refer to the FEMALE anatomy!) to unman rapists and sleazemucks, which I think would do just peachy things for the future of the gene pool: I'm about quality, not quantity, when it comes to humans, and it's worth noting that children are conceived in consensual sex as well (WARNING: The widespread rumor that female orgasm increases the chance of fertilization is not actually true; current science indicates that the female orgasm is fun but unnecessary – sort of like most parts of sex), and at least one species has evolved mechanisms to prevent rape fertilization without going extinct. And, naturally, the cry of “I understand this movie now oh my god!” right before the first chomp brought out the most laughter and applause I've ever heard from seven people sitting around in someone's house.
In conclusion: “Teeth” good. See with people make better. Abuse frat boy = fun and profit.
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